Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I’m So Sick.

It’s Wednesday. It’s half-past six in the morning, and here I am, up uncharacteristically early. I’m sick. So sick I nearly died just now - or so it felt like.

I was fine a few days ago, but it is Winter here, and I usually do get ill at least once a year. But that illness makes up for lost time by staying for what seems like weeks, or even months – throughout Winter perhaps. There are after all several strains of flu going around. I thought it was my brother who passed on the germs to me, but he has bronchitis.

I went to bed late last night because I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep well. I can not sleep when I’m sick. I think it’s a mixture of the sickness as well as all the medicine I’m taking to get better. I’m convinced they contain things that keep you up, like steroids, epinephrine and so on. I know some if not most nasal sprays do.

I lay there at about 5:00 am listening to the radio, trying to relax and take my mind of things. It was then that I was able to experience some ASMR tingles while listening to some morning show about some guy carrying on about poisons and farming and so on. It wasn’t just in the head, but also the legs, as I curled up my frail body under the duvet.

I started to fall asleep, seeing as I’d been awake since 9 the previous morning. So I willingly switched off the radio, and left the light on while I just slipped away.

An hour later I woke up, and my body just bolted forward without warning. I started choking and coughing, struggling to breathe, and I swung over to the side of the bed. It was quite revolting, seeing as you can imagine all the bodily fluids which had been dripping down the back of my throat while I lay there all came up at this point. I’ve gone through a box of tissues by now, and the floor is carpeted with them.

I was in shock for a few minutes thereafter, just clearing my throat. I thought: I am not lying here any longer. Not after that. So I got up and started typing. But at some point today I will likely collapse from lack of sleep.

I hate being sick. I probably hate it more than just about anything else in the world. Most of my senses are impaired in some manner, such as my eyes which are bloodshot and blurry, my nose which is runny and stuff and can’t smell a thing, and my taste which… I can’t taste much. But luckily my hearing is still acceptable, and therefore I can still experience ASMR by listening to sound triggers.

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